opposites attract

choosing a best friend is hard to do when you're me.
my name is mr mustache but my keepers call me jupiter.
i live with someone that looks like me they call coconut, she prefers princess eilonwy,
another fatter version of me they call charlie,
a big full of energy, fluffy thing they call jack,
and a noisy caged, no fur one they call kiwi.
forgot to mention three other look alikes beyond the door, olive, freddy and chumsley.
so as you can see my choices are very slim around here.
everyone has their downfalls and i see them all:
coconut is too mean, she pulls my hair out all the time. did i mention she eats my food?
jack chases me whenever the keepers aren't around and he eats my food too!
charlie is kinda slow up there and smells weird
and i'm not allowed beyond the door so olive, freddy and chumsley are off limits.
so between the mean coconut, the chasing jack, or the special charlie
i have to pick the lesser of three evils or the one i can out smart best.
i'm stuck sharing everything with coconut so the less time with her the better,
charlie is the reason i'm in confinement and he's kind of a loner,
with jack i can out smart that guy, and as long as i dont run he doesn't chase!
so my decision for best friend is: JACK!
why you ask? well his good qualities are:
he shares everything with me from his bed to his toys, and water too!
he chases coconut away, eats the crickets and did i mention he chases coconut away?
he's learned boundaries of what's mine and what is ours.
but most of all he never gets mad!
and that's my story of how i found my best friend under crummy circumstances.